Thursday, March 22, 2007

Dirty Deeds... Pens Lose.

Well, right away, you could tell there was something weird about the ice.
The paint on the ice was brighter than your balls.
Then we are told that the Islanders put a new ice surface down.

Why change the ice now when you're moving into Running Bull Arena in the fall?

The Islanders came out flying tonight. They are fighting for their collective playoff lives.

During the national anthem, Ricky D. thinks about how he is going to show off for some little boys tonight.

Not too much was happening early.
Sidney Crosby played for about 8 seconds during the first 8 minutes.

Campoli tries to job Gonchar, but he gets caught.

Not much happened on that power play, other than Recchi forgetting what he's doing and brings an offsides call the Pens way.

The Pens take their 44th too-many-men-on-the-ice penalty of the season.

Huge save by Fleury on Miroslav Satan.
How long has Satan been in the league? Who doesn't lift that puck?

With about 3 minutes left in the first, the My Two Sons line comes up big.

Talbot gets an unofficial assist on the goal.
Roberts comes into the zone, dominates, and gets it over to Colby...who buries it.
A loud "whooooooooooooo!" resonates throughout the Nassau Coliseum.
Those away-team goal celebrations are what the playoffs are all about.

Ravishing Rick Rude celebrates the goal.
Look at those pants.

The first period was the period of Laraque.
You can feel he is ready to score some type of huge goal.
Lord Therrien used him well tonight.


A couple minutes into the second, Gary Roberts gets sent to his other neighborhood on the bad side of town -- the box.

The Pens get douched on the ensuing Islanders power play.
Jordan Staal breaks his stick.
The puck finds Trent Hunter's stick in the high slot. Goal.

Karate Kid says: Nice shot, Homo.

A few minutes later, Crosby springs Malkin on a breakaway with an 11-line pass.
Malkin tries to snipe it in, but Ricky denies it.

A little bit after that, Smyth flips Powder a nice saucer pass.
Powder buries it but is laid out by Armstrong. Blake gets mad.

Blake, who apparently was within seconds of making out with Ryan Smyth, gets pissed.

The next shift, a skirmish near the Islanders net sends Crosby and Witt to the box.
Did anyone else notice Ryan Smyth come in and drag Crosby away from Witt?
A nice gesture?

Well, soon thereafter, Malkin gets his second breakaway of the period.
He gets tripped.
The referee's arm flies out of his socket as he points to center ice for a penalty shot.

Is Gonch holding a doobie?

Fittingly, Malkin is stoned on the penalty shot.

No comment.

The next shift, Armstrong completely lays out Powder.
Lays out.

The hit causes a rift in the space-time continuum, giving Army a headache.

Tom Poti gets a penalty. But only a two-minute minor.
He dropped the gloves -- Guess that's cool these days.

Armstrong lining up Jason Blake.

On the power play, DiPietro slashes Gary Roberts.
5-on-3 City.

Every shot from the point during the power play is blocked, and the puck is cleared.

After the penalties are killed, the Iroquois spark a threat, but no dice.
Out of nowhere, Crosby is propelled at warp speed towards DiPietro but he misses the net.
Out of nowhere, you realize Laraque has been on Sid's line all game.

The teams job around for a while. The playoff intensity seemingly disappears...until Max takes a dump on the center-ice logo.

Ruutu decides to hit Aaron Asham to bring the intensity back. Penalty Kill City.

The penalty is killed.
Ruutu comes out of the box and nails another Islander.
Ryan Smyth flies back into the Pens zone on a 2-on-1.
Rob Scuderi silently breaks it up.

This second period was the mini-me verson of the last two minutes of the Devils game a while back.
Malkin elbows Andy Hilbert in the head at the end of the period.
Hilbert doesn't like it.

Hilbert on "Skating With The Stars."


Happy Birthday to Danny P.


Huge third period.
Mike Yeo told Bob Errey that Michel Therrien talked to the refs after the second period about the egregious play.
Bob Errey may be quirky, but he executes the job of a color commentator to a T.

Early in the third, Gary Roberts passes up a sweet shooting opportunity in the slot.
The Islanders come back and Viktor Kozlov beats Fleury straight up from the slot.

" I stopped harder wild pitches from Zane Smith. "
Go Bucs.
Give it to the Pens, though.
They responded to being down 3-1.

Therrien starts sending out Crosby and Malkin early in the third.
And then we get a look at an interesting Staal-Christensen-Ouellet line.
The My Two Sons line generates some offense, Rick DiPietro just simply wouldn't allow it.

Crosby, Malkin, Staal getting slashed and elbowed all game.
But Ruutu comes up big, drawing a penalty.
No one told the Pens they were on the power play, though.
New York, a team fighting for their life, kills the penalty with excellence.

How stupid are Islanders fans?
Their players are falling over themselves, but they are booing the "no calls." Get real.

To Isles Fans
Love, PensNation

Crosby goes flying into the zone and gets a couple shots off, but Rick DiPietro is insane.

The New York Islanders are a joke.
What is there infatuation with cheap shots?
Brendan Witt decides to kick Malkin in the balls.
Malkin whacks him, and Witt has no idea why he would do that.


We're shown a clip of Brashear douching Ryan Smyth.
And all of Pens Nation declares Brashear their favorite hockey player.

Brendan Witt slashes Crosby's stick out of his hands.
While Witt skates to the box, we get to play the increasingly popular game "Read Sid's Lips."

" You're A F***in Joke."

Well, the Pens pull the goalie, but nothing was happening.
A loose puck or two in those last skirmishes, but that's it.

Ted Nolan wasn't available for any post-game comments.

He helped the Nassau Coliseum crew clean up the garbage left by the fans.
Go Pens.
  • Crosby: Played
  • Malkin: Played
  • Shots: Sioux ( 24 ) -- Pens ( 27 )
  • Powerplay: Apache ( 1 for 4 ) -- Pens ( 0 for 6 )
  • Dont't want to play the Islanders in the playoffs.
  • Hopefully, the NHL knows the spotlight is on the officiating in the playoffs. Coupled with the Senators-BluesGate and all the cheap shots around the NHL recently, Bettman has to start looking at some shit.
  • Mike Sillinger - assclown.
  • Good performance by the MAFer. Third goal was legit, despite Spanky's opinion.
  • FSN's Rob King has been on fire recently. But in the post-game show, he says, "Oh, the Pens have lost two straight for the first time in a month. Do you think too much is expected of this young team down the stretch?" Jay Caufield looks at Rob King and is stunned.
  • Islanders suck. Dirtiest team in the league. Blame their coach.






Jason Blake, Walking Tall -- Jason Schiffhauer
Geno's Island -- Rachel F.
Hilbert -- Derek Malinsoky
Crosby, DiPietro -- Andrew Weitzel
Pissed off Max--Randy Longo


loralei said...

Oh I'm the first one!

Anywho in answering your question about how to get the photoshops to the players, we need to find out who the team press agent is. You could just print out the favorites and mail them to him/her. I think this maybe Tom McMillian OR if someone really wants to be adventurous, Dan Potash lingers down in the Pens runway between periods during the games. If there is a way to shoot him an email and say hey, Pens nation wants the players to see these, we'll bring them down to you b/t periods that could be an option. Or just give them to one of the guys after the game. This however probably requires printing these out. I guess you could do a disc but if a random stranger hands you a disc, would you put it in your computer? Guessing not. I'll let you know if I can think of anything more. You maybe able to just call the press office of the Team and see what they say. I would say that the contact that you had w/ Potash earlier this year is key though..

rachel said...

Loralei, you really thought that out. I'd say go with Dan P. He seems like he would do that especially after the clip of Colby's birthday gift to him ;)

Personally, I think Recchi needs to be taken off the top PP unit. He hasn't scored in a lot of games (I don't feel like finding the stat). He's also a pretty small guy and the guy is 39, he needs a break every once in a while! I say put Staal out there. He'd be a big body in front of the net. He's also got a great sense with the puck.

The Devils are just handing us the division title...

3 TB - 1 NJ

Justin said...

is it just me or does malkin just seem disinterested in penalty shots and shootout situations?

Anonymous said...

Agreed the Indians are the cheapest team in the league.

Best game so far by BGL in a Pens uniform.

The Danny P locker room segment was hilarious.

How does Jason Blake score 36 goals in a season???

Where oh where can our powerplay be? Ricky D took it away from me.

Hopefully we come up big this weekend, those 4 points are much needed right now.


Justin said...

i think the 70 games hes played so far this year are taking a toll on mr brodeur

rachel said...

The photoshops are hilarious as always! I'm kind of scared that the Wiggles are as big as the Beatles in Australia. Nice job, Josh!

Justin, I definitley agree with you there. Malkin just goes up and shoots. He doesn't do anything to fake the goalie out.

Eric, that locker room segment was priceless.

Someone needs to destroy Blake and Witt this season.

Justin said...

donald brashear destroyed witt. WOW

seth said...

fuck that shit

♥tiffany♥ said...

Staff, thanks for the funny post and pics--you're probably the only ones who can cheer me up after a loss. And even though the Islanders AND their fans can suck it.....for some reason this loss didn't hit me as hard as the others. Maybe it was because I was trying to be positive. But since Jersey lost too, the Pens didn't really lose any ground by giving two points to NY. So now they just need to focus on beating Atlanta on Saturday, right? (Ugh...2 afternoon games this weekend.)

rachel said...

I hate afternoon games...

♥tiffany♥ said...

You people that are doin' these photos....unbelievable. I laughed sooo hard at all of them.

Anonymous said...

Slightly off topic here, but has anyone else noticed that Rob Scuderi kinda looks like a Muppet??

particularly in his FSN Pittsburgh spot... ;)

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure that clip was Brashear crushing that pansy Witt... not Smyth.

Anonymous said...

thornton 6 behind crosby now...damn

Will said...

game recap:

at least the Devils lost.

Christina said...

i'd love to see the danny po locker room vid...if anyone finds it online, could you post the link?

one of my dad's and my favorite pasttimes when we watched the games together earlier this year was playing "read sid's lips"...definitely one of the things i miss not being able to watch the games here!

adrienne...if you see this, i tried IMing you last night, but my internet here is terrible, so i don't know if you got it. i'm going to try again, and send you my email address for your questions.

AndrewGurn said...

Bahh.. I cancelled my cable due to poorness and the neighbor who I was mooching internet from so I could listen to the games on online radio moved or something. Damnit.

Doesn't sound like I missed much though.

Jason Blake as Powder? Amusing. The Karate Kid? Feckin' MONEY.

-Andrew G. Weitzel, Vicodan Addict

Anonymous said...

Dudes! Please please PLEEZ keep up the pedophile and Injun jokes! AWESOME. How else would I know you were a bunch of flabby goateed losers who jerk off to YouTube videos because you're too cheap to pony up for pay-porn? And the Photoshop competition? AWESOME!!! Although why not just use scissors and Elmer's? Seeing as nobody KNOWS HOW TO USE THE FUCKING SCALE COMMAND.

You lost your wit. The homer/self-hating Burgher comes out when the Pens lose. Take a deep breath. And go fuck yourselves.

Karri said...

AndrewGurn...your continuously different titles (Vicodan Addict, [interesting narcotic] The Reverend, Master of Internets, PHD DDR SQL, and Esq., have been so funny. Tiffany, I think, said it best..."Andrew Gurn Weitzel,
You're a man of many titles.... ;)"

Are you Andrew13 or the Good Andrew too?

dying alive said...

I wonder if Inside Penguins Hockey would do a story on the Pensblog and these Photoshops? I don't see why not, they've done stories about the banners around the arena. Some of them might not be appropriate for TV, though.

I think this just about sums it up for Poti and the entire Isles team:

Costa said...

Anyone Else Think The Islanders Should Changed Their Name To New York Assholes?

Karri said...

dying alive...Hahahaha...Thanks!

Karri said...

I have a question...If the "War Room" in Toronto watches every game to "make sure" they get things right, how are they letting the officiating around the league get so out of control? The non-calls are mounting! To me, that "room" is a joke!

Derek said...


Pedophile and Injun jokes are what the Pensblog was founded on.

And why are you thinking about us jerking off to Youtube videos, not sure how I feel about that.


Karri said...

Thanks Derek! Couldn't have said it better.

Spencemo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spencemo said...

Well, Derek, I'm going to guess that Mr. Anonymous (or Ms. Anonymous, equal opportunity, after all) is so distraught by whatever shitty hockey team they are following, they must feel the need to lash out at this fantastic website and its readers. And, they also probably figured that if they are jerking off while surfing You Tube, that everyone else is, too.

Anonymous said...

he/she is also fantasizing about goatees

Justin said...

i dont remember this being called "politically correct" blog

if you dont like gay and pedophile and indian jokes, go read a boring AP recap

AndrewGurn said...

I am not "Andrew13" or "Good Andrew". I only discovered this blog last week and decided to join the community so I could have an excuse to make stupid photoshops.

So here is me: I'm 22, I live in Lancaster county (Amish/Flyers country), I've been a Pens fan since since I can remember (although I have no idea why, since my entire family is composed of Flyers fans).

-Andrew "No Longer a Mystery" Weitzel

Karri said...

Andrew "No Longer a Mystery" Weitzel...Hahahaha...oh good, another not so bright sister lives near Coatesville...another Flyers fan. Keep up the great photoshop job!

EmDubs said...

The real loser is someone who would pay for porn when they could get it for free.

Michael Moulton said...

Is it just me, or was Malkin absolutely horrible last night? He looked like he was skating in slow motion through much of the game... no moves on the breakaway, no moves on the penalty shot.

Disappointing game from him.

Justin said...

yeah malkin was bad because hes pissed off at thepensblog for making fun of gay pedofile indians

karri said...

Love this site guys...I'm so glad someone told me about it back in Dec.

So, what do I do on my only day off in 5 days and have to work the weekend? (which really sucks)

I read back posts from ThePensblog, ofcourse! - (finished with Oct.)

I don't know how you guys are able to keep the inspirational high that you're on.

Terrific pics, quotes, links, stats...I'm floored.

"The Penguins Bunch" - 10/29...hahaha

"The Good Ship Therrien" - wow!

"Man, I Hate Wayne Gretzky" - I love this one!

And as I've mentioned before..."The Magnitogorsk Redemption"

Saying "Thank You" for all of this just doesn't seem to be enough somehow!

Adam said...

the only place we jerk off is on your mom's face.

go pens.

Staff said...

If people would intelligently criticize us rather than throw vague insults about porn and World of Warcraft, we may respond one day.

But Running Commenter took a shot at pretty much everyone, which really makes no sense.

But it's cool that you're reading the site even though you hate us.
It's like watching Bill O'Reilly just to hate him, or watching the Yankees in the playoffs just to root against them.
I know the feeling.

Hahaha and who is so pissed to take 5 minutes out of their time to hate on someone at 9:00 in the morning?
The fact that we affected someone like that is glorious.
My life is based around people hating me. It keeps things interesting.

Go Pens.

Thanks for the compliments, karri.
Our inspiration is that we don't have lives.

And thanks to everyone showing support.

Justin said...

i like that they dont like the indian jokes but they themself call them "injuns"

Loser Chris said...

Yeah, being hated is sweet. I always loved being booed when I had a road game playing hockey. Nothing better than sticking it to the home fans.

dying alive said...

I hate on people pretty much all day long. That's why I love The Pensblog.

Justin, I noticed the injuns thing too. And as far as the Photoshop expos, who really gives a shit if some of them aren't professional quality? It's pretty cool that people take time out of their lives just to do them so that a bunch of tards* on the internet can have a laugh.

*Since we're making fun of injuns and homosexuals, we might as well cover all of the bases. I'm looking at you, mentally handicapped people.

Go Pens.

Justin said...

its a shame when the only thing some people are creative enough to produce is negativity

Staff said...

haha white people are the worst

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Wow, the game sucked, and now we have some asshole starting stuff and making some of the comments suck.

I totally preferred the 90s comments the other day.

So, as an encore to that great comments section, go here and immediately be transported to 1991:

Spencemo said...

Holy shit! I graduated in 1991!

Jon said...

After reading what Mr. Anonymous posted, I was hoping yinz wouldn't have paid him any mind. The only reason they post here and say shit like that is to get a reaction. Next time just ignore the ignorant. I saw that in a fortune cookie once.
Louie Louie, love the PJ clip, I still can't believe their around cranking out some pretty decent albums. And speaking of Mr. Lipps, I have his starting lineup doll, er "action figure". Old toys, er "collectibles" rule...

~tiffany~ said...

Karri, about the "War Room" in Toronto.....totally agree with you. So in the words of Sid, "It's a f**king joke!"

Louis Lipps is my homeboy,
Wow....thank you sooo much for the Pearl Jam video. I loved it too!! I'm gonna have to send it to my brother.....he'll go nuts.

Justin said...

PJ is one of the best bands ive ever seen live

~tiffany~ said...

Ok, anyone who likes South Park will appreciate this....

~tiffany~ said...

Going along with the '90s theme, I found this video and thought it was appropriate. It's 8:43 long...

Anonymous said...

new lines for tomorrows game.. therrien is making HUGE changes

1st Line: Christensen - Crosby - Armstrong

2nd Line: Malone - Malkin - Ouellet

3rd Line: Roberts - Staal - Recchi

4th Line: Ruutu - Talbot - Laraque


rachel said...

It will be interesting to see how those work. Personally, I think EC plays much better at center than at wing.

Here's where the lines came from...

~tiffany~ said...

Jim & Rachel,
Thanks for posting the new lines!! HUGE changes, indeed.

And Rachel....I have to tend to agree with you about Erik, but I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

karri said...

Tiff...good find on the You Tube videos...I especially like the 90's one...ohhhh...interesting memories.......hahaha.

Rachel & Jim...exciting lineup changes....hope they work!

Rachel...liked the pic...hahaha. Geno makes a good Gilligan.

Anonymous said...

TOTALLY agree with the crush thing, rachel and tiffany. that line is scaring me a little bit defensively, as well.

poor jordan. stuck between the two old guys.

~tiffany~ said...

OMG!!! The formerly know "RPM Line" is now the "TRL Line." Hahaha....what do ya think, guys??

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Pretty good 90s video Tiffany, although some of the stuff in it like My Little Pony, Super Mario Brothers, and Mr. T for example, was CLEARLY 80s and not 90s.

God I hated Blossom. And Vanilla Ice wearing a pair of fucking SKIDZ!!! HAHAHAHA

Some of the stuff from the 90s doesn't really seem that dated, I guess that's why it's wierd to see a "retro" video about the 90s. I think I know why.

See, when the 80s ended, within a year or so bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam came out, and edgier sitcoms like Seinfeld came out and completely rendered almost all of 80s pop-culture irrelevant and dated almost immediately after the 80s ended.

When we came into the 2000s, that really didn't happen. In fact, a lot of stuff from the 90s (not all) is still kind of cool today. That's why there are some styles and music and whatnot from the 90s that don't seem as horribly dated in 2007 as stuff from the 80s did back in 1997.

Another thing, 10 years from now we'll be sitting around laughing about stuff from this decade and wishing we could go back in time to 2007. Funny how stuff like that works huh?

Also, I like that Pearl Jam video because it appears to be one of those in-store promotional appearances bands do to promote albums and it seems like it was from right before they broke big. It's almost like watching rock 'n' roll history or something.

Finally, I have a sister that's about 9 years older than me that told me a pretty good story related to all this stuff and to Pittsburgh. Nirvana played at a club that used to be up in Oakland called Graffiti RIGHT before they got super-huge back in 91.

The sound-guys at the club fucked up their sound so bad, that Nirvana's manager set a couch on fire in the club and vowed Nirvana would never play Pittsburgh again. Since this was in about 91, we were trying to figure out if after they got huge they ever came back and played the Igloo or if they held true to their manager's promise.

Anyone out there know?

And on that note, I'm never talking about the 90s on a hockey blog again.

(uggghhh... Lollapalooza, Herman's Head and Michael Jordan playing baseball... there now I hate it all out of my system!)

Staff said...

it's sick how we're talking about the '90s the same way we talked about the '80s when we were growing up.

i'm talking from the vantage point of a 23-year-old.

I've got one thing to say about the 1990's:

No Rain -- Blind Melon


David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Davy D said...

Too many men!

~tiffany~ said...

Derek, HILARIOUS picture!!

Davy D.....hahaha. ‹(•¿•)›

Adam, exactly...No Rain - Blind Melon:

Adrienne said...

everyone talking about the 90's makes me cry for my youth. I feel SOOO old :(

Dazed and Confused banner made me laugh WAY too hard. I don't know why but that was bloody hysterical.

Derek said...

How money does Eaton look with that 80's hair? I had fun making that one.

Derek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tiffany said...

Louis Lipps is my homeboy,
Yeah...I noticed that too. Add Speak N Spell to the list of stuff from the '80s. I still have my brother's.....hahaha.

EmDubs said...

I completely forgot about Herman's Head until this instant..... ha ha ha, good stuff.

PittCheMBA said...

Love the Geno's Igloo Photoshop!


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