Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The StaalShank Redemption. PENS WIN.



We're not going to lie.
We were prepared to make a cruel joke about Vladimir Konstantinov and go to bed.

But sometimes the hockeygGods like to remind us how lucky we are.

At 9:15, it was just another whatev November night.
It's getting cold again, Pens are losing, work/school in the morning looms.

At 10:00, you're walking around like its May and the Pens just won a playoff game.
Texts are flying in, you want to tell as many people as you can about what just happened.

What a great day to be a hockey fan.
What a great day to be an American.

Before we get into the bulk of the game, it simply must be said that in the SCF last year, the Red Wings had the young Penguins intimidated and made them play their game. That's what beasts do. Last night's game shows what happens when the Wings play the Pens game. Punch for punch, offense for offense, the Pens prevail. Did Hossa even play last night?

Is this redemption for losing in the SCF? No way. The Red Wings skate away from last night knowing they weren't up to snuff against a solid team in the early stages of the 2008-09 season. For a Pens team still trying to figure out what's going on, it's a big win. It exorcises demons. It's a statement game.

Overshadowed in all of this is the performance by the Bee Gees.

And Chris Osgood is horrible.
This is what happens when his defense chokes. Watching the Penguins destroy him puts an extra hop in our step this morning. Finally.

We've seen a lot of stuff. And without rushing to judgment or speaking in the moment, Jordan Staal played one of the best regular-season hockey games we've ever seen. Wow, just wow.

[Jon W.]


-- Mike Emrick



Hossa was late showing up for the game. Derek won the Cup in his NHL 09 dynasty Tuesday morning, and Hossa showed up at his house in the afternoon wanting to join the team.

The Red Wings were the ones looking nervous early on.
Crosby heads to the net.


Johan Franzen picks up where he left off in the SCF and is still a joke. Power play blog.
The big deal there was Zigo being on the top unit to win some faceoffs.
And he was up there all night.

In what's becoming a common occurrence, a Pens giveaway at the blue line led to a 2-on-1 for the Wings.
Goligoski takes a page out of Osgood's book and lies.
This time, it was on the ice, and he thwarts a cross-crease pass.


During that power play, Hossa handles the puck, and boos were clearly audible.
Must suck being booed in your own building.
Oh, wait, he's only renting it until he wins a Cup. We forgot.

That penalty was killed, and then it was the Pens turn to go to the box.
Eric Godard heads to the box.
The penalty was killed faster than the Detroit auto-industry job market.

Rob Scuderi puts his health on the line and blocks a shot.
What a player. What an American. He was peaced-out for the game.

We headed into the second half of the first, and play had shifted towards MAF.
Another loose puck. 80 people in front of Fleury.


Zigomanis was headed to the box soon after that swift boot to the scrote.
The Stroms took over.
Niklas takes his Geritol and gets a shot off.
Tomas deflects it past MAF. 2-1.

Goligoski took a penalty to put the cap on the first. Vomit. We've seen this before.




Getty Images ain't no joke


To start the second, the Pens poop all over the world, and Franzen has time to make out with his mother before putting one top shelf. 3-1.
The Pens get another penalty for giving up the goal. Killed.

Most uncomfortable hockey fan we've ever seen.
[Jason M]

Chris Osgood hadn't seen a shot since the Civil War and was cold as ice when Crosby and Co. jobbed around in the zone.
Talbot heads to the net. Boobjob. 3-2.
Osgood is such a baby.

The Pens were given a golden chance after that with a powerplay.
Marian Hossa works hard on the PK and streaks down the wing, but veers to the corner because he sees a 50-dollar bill laying on the ice.
He sucks.


After the busy start to the game, it started turning into Red Wing hockey: a bunch of nothingness in between Zetterberg and Datsyuk not scoring 100 points in a season.
A Penguin finally hit someone towards the end of the second.
Thank you, Matt Cooke.

Late in the second, Fedotenko dumps it in and goes after it.
Oh wait. Brad Stuart impeded his progress along the boards. What a play.

At the end of the period, Pavel Datsyuk puts some bullshit goal home.


That's the end of the second.
Buckle up.


Five minutes into the third, the Pens were moving to KC.
Zetterturd makes his only appearance of the game. 5-2.

[Mike D.]

We were visiting with [Puck Daddy's] live blog when the goal was scored.
Check out the joke Wing fans taunting us.


Tempers were flaring. The Bingo Hall Louis Arena was rabid.
Lee P. was planning a parade.

The Wings, though, got lazy and stopped trying to mask their penalties.
A couple of quick ones gave the Pens a 5-on-3.
There's nothing like a 5-on-3 to get you started.

Pass, pass, pass, shoot, salma hayek, pass, pass, pass, vas deferens, shoot.
Finally, Malkin put one home. 5-3.
Osgood looks around for someone to blame. It never fails.

A little over a minute later, Osgood had to look around again.
Jordan Staal switches to the rinse cycle with some nice stickwork in front. 5-4.

Fist pump/woo
[Will Smith]

Uh-oh. Detroit's running scared.
They better score a weak goal somewhere. Letang just misses from keeping it out.

There it is. What crap. 6-4. Hudler is a joke.


And then the Meltdown In Michigan began.

[Derek K]

The Pens weren't dying. They work hard. They see the mountain in front of them.
Jordan Staal says F U with a loose puck. 6-5.

That dude is pissed.
Maybe because that's his wife.

Uh-oh. Detroit's running scared.
They better score a weak goal somewhere.
Woops. Instead, they curl back into their shells.

As the clock ticks down, deja balls sinks in.
MAF races to the bench. Extra attacker. Casket match.

Bing almost smokes Osjoke, but he actually makes a save.
Babcock calls a timeout. Huge mistake.

Mike Zigomanis rolls out for the faceoff. Bottom line is, last season, the Penguins just don't win that faceoff.

Zigomanis wins it with ease back to Go-go, who gets it to Malkin.
Malkin with a blast. Even Jesus Christ doesn't know where it's at.
Jordan Staal does, making him better than Jesus. 6-6.
Osgood, as expected, blames Jesus for the big goal.


Jordan Staal comes rolling down the ice again.
Brian Rafalski and his experience take a stupid penalty at the end of regulation.


The anticipation leading up to the Pens power play to start up OT should have its own blog.
But no dice.
The game was spiraling toward what would have been an anticlimactic shootout with Hossa probably trying to ask for a trade to the Pens then changing his mind.. We were ready to go until 2am, then we realized it's 4 degrees outside.

That's where Jordan Staal takes over. Again.


Pavel Datsyuk gets embarrassingly lazy and lets Staal steal it from him.
Staal to Tenk.

GAME. That fast.


  • This would have been nice a couple months ago.
  • Matt Cooke= Difference maker
  • Matt Cooke > Joko Ruutu
  • Trade Staal. What a game. Get him some Advil.
  • We rattled off photoshops. So if we missed one sorry. Thanks to all who sent stuff in. Credit for the title of this post goes to David D.
  • What a game for Zigomanis.
  • Staal scored set up Tenko at 1:11 of OT on 11/11.
  • [Abel To Joke] will be sending his thoughts in at some point today because he lost our bet.
  • Bee Gees are back, jack.

[Chris C]----[Kyle K.]

*****We didn't have time to credit everyone for their 'shops/stunned pics. To make it easier, so everyone gets credit, write your intials in the photoshop you make in the corner or something that way no one can steal them from here, and you'll get credit too.********


Dan said...

Fiiiiirst and what a game!!!!!! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

je2ms said...


Dan Yost said...

Have not slept yet, still too pumped!!! Ziggy is amazing, he wins face-offs like he's playing the game on rookie mode. Staal grows up in front of our eyes, and Osgood is revealed for the average goaltender he is.


Susan Burghart said...

I didn't get any sleep last night because of this. Totally worth it, though.

Statement game? You betcha!

Stilly said...

What a game. Maybe now all of the chicken little fans will stop with the trade talk. This team is good.

Staal was a man possessed all night. Awesome stuff from him at both ends. A regular season win don't get much better than this.


J.S. said...

so is there any word from "Dave"? By the sounds of it, he couldn't wait to read the recap here.

Well Dave, I hope you like reading about how Detroit turned from Riot City to Meltdown City, then of course back to Riot City again.

J.S. said...

kid from the Godard fight, as seen in the first intermission = still a beast.

BlacknGold66 said...

What an amazing game to watch.

It kind of reminded me of the Thanksgiving Day game from last season in terms of what it means to the team (gelling together/cleaning skeleton's out of the closest/etc.).

The dude in the Lemieux jersey laughing was great... but his friend's reaction was even better.

Go Pens!!!

Ali said...

That screenshot from Akus is to great... I can't even handle it...


powerhouse said...

So is Hossa a good judge of hockey talent? NOSSA! Love the back in black wrapped just tight enough to squeeze em' boob shot. Saw em' on the tube last night. Thanks for the second review P Blog.

sexymexyjeffy said...

you know hossa taught staal that pick move. i'd say that was worth colby armstrong. this was a statement game

go pens.

Rage said...

NICE Akus! Good work Coffeytalk. Not much sleep and up before 8? Fuckin-A!!

Does everyone realize that the hot n juicy chick in black was either a Pens fan or an imported Dallas Stars Ice girl that Bettman shipped in to give the Wangs a little class for TV

mikey said...

what a recap!

staalshank redemption - best title of year

Stilly said...

I was pretty impressed by the defensive corps too. They played their asses off a man down. Letang and Goligoski were both excellent.

They jokes over at A2Y were bitching about the officiating saying the refs handed the Pens the game. The game I was watching had the Wangs scoring three PP goals and getting penalty after penalty. It's funny to see fans so in denial about their team's ability to suck.

Rage said...

Just as an aside: Were there any riots in Pittsburgh last night? Arson? Cop cars getting attacked? No?

Detroit-Full of Fail

circlesky66 said...

Staal almost single-handedly wins the game for the Pens, takes a dump in the Wings' locker room, flys the plane back to Pittsburgh himself and proceeds to bang all the Pens' wives and girlfriends.

I should think that his critics have finally been silenced.

dying alive said...

I slept very little.

BlacknGold66 said...

"I was pretty impressed by the defensive corps too."


They left MAF out to dry on more than FOUR occasions. Not so great.

Sydor actually had a succulent game though.

Ian said...

Goals by the Pens in Failtown in the SCF: 4

Points by Jordan Staal last night: 4

For all those people who say "trade Staal" he's on pace for 27 goals and 22 assists. And yes, I realize those numbers are inflated based on his hat trick last night.

dying alive said...

Blaming the refs for giving the Pens the game last night is delusional. Six of the Pens' seven goals were at even strength. If you want to blame someone, start with your goaltender who kept blowing leads, and work your way up to your Selke winner who got picked while lazily skating the puck out of the zone in OT.

Or, you know, you could try giving the other team some credit for playing a tough game. But we know that will never, ever happen.

slush said...

succulent. versus disgusts me. just like elroy was splendid. wtf is wrong with them. there is major dick suckage going on between the wings and versus.

game was killer. I am still smiling. So great to see the Gronk back in action.

cblog was hilarious last night. hate works.

KD said...

-- Mike Emrick

That's right up there with:
"If you take away the interceptions … Roethlisberger had a splendid day."
--Bob Smizik


dying alive said...

I thought the defense was pretty shaky last night, aside from some really good plays here and there (Goligoski's in the first period comes to mind).

Not surprising considering they were down three of their starting defensemen after Scuderi left the game, but not really a good excuse either because they've been pretty solid this season so far even without Whitney and Gonchar. Not having Scuds for the PK killed them.

Actually, now that I think about it, only three ES goals to the defending Cup champs without three of your top D isn't too shabby.

Big Red Dog said...

Epic game... if there was more on the line that was easily better than game 5 of the SCF.

Great recap.

Stilly said...

"Actually, now that I think about it, only three ES goals to the defending Cup champs without three of your top D isn't too shabby."

Agreed. They played well I thought being down Scuds and keeping things close at ES. If it weren't for a poor showing on the PK, that game wouldn't have been nearly as close.

Losing Scuds early hurt the PK, but with a 5 man rotation they played pretty well as even strength.

Lady Jaye said...

I'm still speechless after that game. I think my favorite shot of the fans is the one where the Pens fan is laughing at the folly of the Red Wings. That cracked me up when they showed it on Vs.... and ug, Vs. I was listening to the Mike Lange calls this morning on the X and they were so much more exciting than listening to the Vs jokes. *sigh* if only radio wasn't on such a delay.

sven butenschon said...

Hossa = -2 last night
Good judge of talent

I never want to see anyone hurt but if Hossa would blow out a knee early this season then I would actually pull for the wings to repeat just so his name wouldn't be on the cup (my wet dream)

Big props to the guy in the Buries it jersey I think I have a logn lost brother

I doubt that there was any riots last night there was hardly anyone @ the games
Hockeytown = jokes

Stilly said...

I will concede this about the D though. Someone needed to put Holmstrom on that fat ass of his. The redirect on their second goal and the screen of MAF on Datsuck's goal could have been better defensed.

M. Vanderlasser said...


My face hurts from smiling so much.

GREAT re-cap and game day, Staff!

Mike Lange's goal calls are up on the Pens' website - he drops a "stunned" after Max's goal.

The Pens have tied the last 2 games they've played in Detroit with less than 40 seconds to go, right?

The holiday season officially started last night!

Duff said...

Hat Trick on...

11-11 by 11

debrisslide said...

This recap is life-changing. Woooooooooooo!

Stilly said...

Holy Shit.

You guys gotta go to the NHL All Star Voting page and sign up and start voting. You can vote as many times as you want.

Currently the starting forwards are Saku Koivu, Alex Tanguay, and Alex Kovalev. The starting defensemen are Andrei Markov and Mike Komisarek. Oh and the starting goalie is Carey Price.

That's right folks. The starting lineup for the east is the starting lineup for the Montreal Canadiens currently. This shit has to change.

On another note, there aren't any Pens in voting of the top 10 forwards, top 10 defensemen or top 5 goalies. Lame.

sven butenschon said...

am I the only one that's tired of the Malone commercial?

Stilly said...

Busted link


btumpak said...

1.) That one uncomfortable chick was kinda hot.
2.) Staal prob banged her.
3.) Sick recap.
4.) Malone's commercial makes me puke.

sven butenschon said...

Dad always said the team is more important than the player
but being over paid is better than the team
dead to me
What did sports soup say to job Mario and Sid?
missed it

dying alive said...

Canadiens fans are pretty clearly flooding the voting.

Stilly said...


Definitely. They need to get lives.

revo said...

what I would have given to trade that 5 v 3 goal last night for one in the SCF... perhaps the pens should pull MAF in the last 2 minutes of every period against osbad.

Bacon077 said...

Datsuk got out-Selke-d.

Dr. McSham said...

Hossa talks about how he jobbed Colin White by calling for the puck from him while playing against New Jersey. What a dick!

I guess when you get around as many teams as he does, this trick actually works...

P.O. said...

kid in mario jersey laughing = hilarious

"most uncomfortable hockey fan" = smoking

slush said...


wilsmith said...

Hossa scored a goal, what an ass!
Hossa passed the puck, what a jerk!

The blind Hossa hate is almost unbearable.

Now is the time to trade Staal. His value has never been higher. This is exactly what we needed to happen.

Vanessa said...

OH Yeah! It was nice to hear the stupid sports announcer on the radio this morning: "The Wings LOSE to Pittsburgh" .... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Jordan had a stunning game. Unbelievable.

It's a great day to be a Pens fan in Michigan.

dying alive said...

I don't care about Hossa enough to hate him, but I understand those who do. From what I've seen, it's less about the fact that he chose to leave the team than it is about the way he did it. Which is, pretty much leading the Pens to believe that signing him was a done deal while he was trying to weasel his way into Detroit. Meanwhile, the Pens didn't pursue other free agents because they had a "gentleman's agreement" with Hossa. Again, I don't hate Hossa, but I'm not entirely sure I'd turn my back on him if he had a knife in his hand either. I can certainly see why his former Pens teammates would harbor hard feelings, although none of them (except Max, who never minces words) are willing to admit it to the press.

More than anything, I'm just tired of Hossa. I'm glad he's gone, because if he was still here, Orpik would most likely not be. Nor would Satan, who leads the team in goals. I'm tired of hearing about him and I'm tired for Sid and the guys who keep having to answer question after question about him. Hopefully this closes the book on Marian Hossa. Goodbye, good luck, and good riddance.

Stilly said...


Hopefully he continues to tear it up. The more he tears it up, the more valuable he is.

That said, if he stays hot and can make the transition to wing, then life is good. If he stays hot and can't make the transition, I wonder if Therrien might move him to 2nd line center and put Malkin on a wing. A Fedotenko - Staal - Malkin line was actually projected at

If Staal demands much more than the 2 mil he's already making, and can't get into the top 6, then Shero can't really afford to keep him. In a pre-salary-cap world, this would be a great situation. Now it's probably not completely feasible unless he takes a good discount.

This is all moot, of course, if he cools off. If he cools off and can't demand a big price tag, I'm all in favor of keeping him around.

Aubrey said...

That picture of the stunned Wangs fan and the Pens fan laughing at him is classic. I think we need to sign that guy for game day!

slush said...

@dying alive

Totally agree. I dont hate Hossa, I just dont like him and I am so tired of all the press nonsense over him. I didnt really like him while we had him. He always seemed smarmy to me.

You hit the nail on the head, if we still had him, we probably wouldnt have Orpik or Satan. Thats not a pleasant thought. I second your motion of Goodbye and Good Riddance. (Fuck the good luck) :)

Korn said...

I DVR'd this game and it f'ing cut off right after Staal scored his second goal. Damn you Versus and your two and a half hour time slot for a game. Glad I decided to stay up til midnight to watch it. Pissed.

dying alive said...

@ slush - Ha ha, I don't really wish him good luck. I don't wish him any harm, but if he never scored a goal again I'd point and snicker.

Hossa wasn't around long enough for me to like him. I cared more about Army leaving than I did Hossa leaving, and Army scores a fraction of the points Hossa does. I cared more about Malone leaving. Hell, I cared more about Christensen leaving because he actually felt like a member of the team, not just a rental. To me, Hossa was clutch in the playoffs last year, but he proved his douchebaggery in the post-season. Don't let the door hit you in your frontrunning ass on the way to lovely Detroit.

Bacon077 said...

According to today's headline photoshop, Staal is so good, he apparently still carries Maxime Ouellet on his back.

slush said...

@dying alive

Agreed. We were crushed to lose Army. We had named our 3rd born Colby after he scored in OT 10 minutes before the baby was born. So, it reeeeally stung losing him.

smithda said...

That "uncomfortable hockey fan" and the older woman sitting next to her have been at Pens home games and have been shown on TV. She must be "connected" somehow to a player etc....I have my guesses who.

Kangaroots11 said...

Best recap of the year, guys. Total gold.

I woke up every neighbor within 5 houses of me last night. Nobody in Chicago cares about hockey. Lame.

jefe p said...

nice recap. some might think not hearing VS is a good thing, but the jerks at the bar would not hook me up with sound. still a sick game to watch. i need to rewatch it with sound somewhere. trade staal!

Steve said...

VERSUS SUCKS, The Pens could cure aids and they'd come up with something they did wrong doing it and thank the wings for it

Rage said...

Okay, I'm not a good person. I see everybody's point about not having Orpik, etc if Hossa had signed, and I know(intellectually speaking)that you are all correct. However I DO fucking hate Marian Hossa, and I DO wish ill upon him and all his progeny in perpetuity. Seriously. He took a big ol shit on the organization(and by proxy Buries It)and the fans, and the town and it doesn't fucking matter whether it's business or not, it's TOTALLY emotional for me because I'M A FAN. I don't get paid to be a fan, I am because I love the team...ergo...HATE works for me. It's what I do. Fuck hossa, fuck detroit and fuck anybody else who signs him.

If the Gronk stays in Pittsburgh for 4 years, nobody who has/is yelling to trade him will admit to it becuz it will just be too embarrassing.

Okay, I feel better. Go Pens

Victor Raison said...

korn: You have a second chance to DVR the game at 5:00p, Versus is showing the game again.

dying alive said...

@ rage - I totally respect that, I'm just a mellow person and I don't want to waste emotional energy on Hossa.

I can't even describe how much I wish last night's game had been played at home.

slush said...

rage- youre pretty solid with the rants too. well done. :)

Rage said...

Am I a "homer" if all my East votes go to Pens players? Just curious. Staalsy, Gogo, Letang write ins


kstewy16 said...

Bacon077, thats Michele Ouellete not not Maxime Ouellet, Maxime never played for the penguins.

Stilly said...

Oh an in regard to the 'Most uncomfortable hockey fan we've ever seen.'

She is one of the most attractive women I've ever seen. Dark hair, fair skin, and a nice rack. All hallmarks of a gorgeous woman.

Matt Gajtka said...

I drove down to Detroit from Grand Rapids yesterday for the game with my wife, my father-in-law (Wings fan) and my high school buddy who is also a transplanted Pittsburgher in Michigan. I think it's safe to say the five-hour round trip was worth it! Probably would've driven across the country to be in the building for that game.

Wings fans are pathetic, half the season ticket holders in the lower bowl don't show up for possibly the marquee rematch of the season and a chance to relive the memories of last year's Cup run. The cheers in the Joe for the sixth and seventh Pens goals were legitimately loud...maybe included some Wings fans who jumped ship in the final minutes! Can't blame them if they did.

As I was telling my buddy, I was satisfied at 5-4 and 6-5 because we were fighting back so well and possessing the puck with the hunger of rabid dogs. After Staal tied the game, you knew the Pens HAD to win in OT.

After Tenk's goal, I lost my voice screaming and high-fived every Pens fan in the vicinity on the way out. Just a life-changing experience that made the 150-minute drive home seem like 15.

Anyone else in the building last night for the Staalshank Redemption?

Bacon077 said...

yea, wrong ouellet, oops. Staal's good enough to carry the former flyers/caps "prospect" anyway.

ripney66 said...

Did no one notice the "Stunned!" that Doc threw out when the camera showed Osgood when the Pens were celebrating the OT goal? Priceless.

jefe p said...

oh yeah some redwings fan sat next to me at the bar by chance. he left when it was 4-2. i told him he was going to miss and epic comeback. little did i even know..


Hand of Godard said...

I hope the bitch in ThickAndy's picture gets the clap. Just throwing that out there.

Joshua said...

Man. I avoided the internet during the SCF. I was way too high strung and I didn't want to hear anyone's bullshit. I heard a little of it after the series was over. Some of the Wings fans were pretty gracious, admitting that it was a good series but that our team was too young and would be back.

That said, what a bunch of fucking clowns Wings fans are. I know life sucks in Michigan and Detroit is a hellhole, but Southwestern Pennsylvania and Pittsburgh aren't exactly full of jobs and awesomeness.

Christ. We knew this was just a regular season game with a little extra subtext because of the SCF and Hossa. They turned it into a do-or-die statement game in which the Pens would get destroyed.

I looked at the Puck Daddy liveblog afterward. It was classic. It went from Wings rock and Pens suck to this game doesn't mean anything and Bettman put the fix in anyway. Yeah. Whatever. Like they were complaining when the Wings were moving their feet and drawing weak penalties. That's what happens when a team gets a good forecheck going. You draw penalties. They want to cry about missed calls. Sydor got a stick to the face when we were down 3-1. They hold and obstruct like nobodies business.

Malkin had a great game. He was battling for pucks. He was creating turnovers. The Wings fans had their familiar refrain of "Malkin can't do anything against the Wings." Even if he didn't score, I would have thought he had a solid game. They couldn't give him any credit. When he scored it was all "that's Malkin he makes one play then nothing." No credit. Bunch of bitches.

Fuck it. What a bunch of whiners. Worse than Rangers fans. And what the hell is with that clown Lions fan that jinxed Crosby? Since when were the Pens the arch rivals of the Wings? Idiot.

ripney66 said...

@ Joshua-

I'm pretty sure the Pens could beat the Lions. On turf. And skates.

Rage said...

FEEL THE HATE!!!! In my defense however, small children and animals inexplicably seem drawn to me. How odd.

Rage said...

@hand of godard-I'd lay odds on the fact that she has already had the clap. seriously...the only way she'd get it now is if somebody mailed it to her. Now I must step away from the coffee

Rage said...

@susan burghart-did I see some of your work in storeblog?

meecrofilm said...

@ stilly. Not to be disrespectful in any way, but suggesting Malkin eventually playing on Staal's wing is just ridiculous. What Malkin brings at center overshadows what Staal brings, and I think Staal is capable of playing wing if needed anyways.. Right now, the Cooke-Staal-Kennedy line has been beastly, and HCMT is gonna reward them with more minutes. If Staal gets those minutes, plus more top PP time, I think he'll be satisfied enough.

As the clock ticks down, deja balls sinks in.

This is why I love tPB. Solid recap, Staff.

Hossa can enjoy playing in Dirty J-town. I was glad he didn't sign. Gives the Pens a more balanced team.

dying alive said...

Blaming the refs is the refrain of sore losers, I don't care how good or bad your team is. That's one thing I will say about cblog - there will be the occasional "aw, the refs blew that call" comment, but I don't recall ever seeing a mass ref-blaming when the Pens lose.

I am totally spamming cblog becuase I'm going out of town this weekend so I've got to get all of my commentary in now. I had to give away my tickets to Thursday's game and Saturday's game. It caused me physical pain.

fleuryous said...

"Zigomanis wins it with ease back to Go-go, who gets it to Malkin.
Malkin with a blast. Even Jesus Christ doesn't know where it's at.
Jordan Staal does, making him better than Jesus. 6-6.
Osgood, as expected, blames Jesus for the big goal."

Staff, I simply love you. SOOOOLID post.

And I've been saying Osgood is NOT incredible--my friends say "to win a cup, you need to have a great goaltender." Well, ummm...NOT NECESSARILY.

And that Sabu-Conk picture is kinda cute. haha. I wonder if they were cordial or talking shit on each other's mamas.

And it's SO REFRESHING to see Staal be PRAISED, finally. I never gave up on him, because I knew he would be a beast. And I said there'd be a time when you all would revert and get in line to lick the balls of Staal...well, line starts behind Franzen.


And Staal was possessed...maybe they all Satan. hahaha.

Aaaaand I'm going to have to comment on that picture with the Pens and Red Wing fans...I love how when it's tied up, everyone just doesn't care and starts texting and shit. Is this seriously Hockeytown?

J.S., your SI Hossa photoshop is solid, and the Man on Fire photoshop made my piddle my pants.




Stilly said...


I would agree. Like I said, when I read the pregame summary at, they had the projected forward lines with Malkin on Staal's wing. That's what made me even think of that combination. They changed the lines after I read it the first time, but I swear to you that a Fedo - Staal - Malkin line was proposed.

If Staal keeps on scoring and playing like a champ, then there are three franchise centers on the team. Being able to afford all three in their current position seems improbable. I hope that Staal could move to a wing and be as effective as he is as a centerman. Time will tell I suppose.

Joshua said...

Osgood is total garbage. I could have won the cup for the Wings last year. They play an excellent system and they draft players for the system. Not to mention we made it easy for Osgood in the SCF because we were always trying to make world class passing plays instead of throwing pucks at the net. How many goals did we score off rebounds last night?

I've never thought Staal has been bad. If he doesn't score another goal all year, but plays his game the way he has been, I'll consider him an extremely valuable part of the team. Perhaps he wouldn't be worth 4 million a year, but he would definitely be wort more than 2 million.


Seriously though, when the hell did the Pens become the arch rivals of the Wings? Did I miss something?

The Goon Blogger said...

Thank you staff. Just amazing. Everything that needs to be said is said.

violator said...

Really great blog, well done! :)


meecrofilm said...


One encouraging thing last night is that Staal looked great along the boards, which instills some hope that he may be able to fully transition to be a successful winger someday, 'cause I agree, no team has 3 franchise centers playing.

But if he levels off just a bit to a happy medium where he's putting up around 60 points at center while playing solid shutdown hockey, then I think the Pens need to try and lock him up.

That'd set up the Pens running essentially Lines 1a and 1b, Line 2 (centered by Staal), and Line 3.

Who knows. The future is exciting!


BlacknGold66 said...

I think the biggest factor to Staal having a great night was the fact that he used his body to get to the puck.

A few of us on here tossed around the idea that someone needed to start crashing the net. This was said when Staal was playing the wing. (which seems like a year ago even if it was only last month)

When the Pens were able to gain control in the offensive zone last night EVERYONE was crashing the net. That resulted in goals.

And I absolutely loved it.


Wings became an arch rival waaaaay back in the day for Northern Ohioans. I've said it many a time but up here most hockey fans root for one of three teams: The Pens, Wings, or Sabres.

The Wings fans here are just as bad as the ones in Detroit. And they are aplenty.

It's probably the only place in the country where the two teams fans hated each other well prior to the playoffs last year.

Fuck 'em.

wilsmith said...

someone explain the Jurassic park explorer to me.

what did I miss?

J.S. said...

That Lions fan should worry about what's in his backyard instead of what's going on in Pittsburgh. The Lions are a bigger trainwreck than all of Amtrak's accident history combined and you're "HOF" goalie (who is barely a .500 goalie outside of DET, I might add) got exposed for the fraud that he really is.

onefinepeceofase said...

If you haven't seen this shootout goal yet, its an ABSOLUTE must. and his reaction afterwards is baller.

staal is a beast. the scud missile met a missile defense system last night... but he was fucking awesome enough to come back and try to play. and im obsessed with ziggy. thats all i have to say. said...

Did anyone notice how Laraque didn't jump in to defend his team last night after Ruutu elbowed Lapierre in the head?

sven butenschon said...

@ the d bag that tries to jinx the pens wearing a Lions shit i mean shirt
I find it hard to believe that that fat ass and his post op tranny looking wife and his botched abortion looking kid coulds have walked 7 miles for anything let alone to jinx the penguins
Any douchbag that would wear a lions shirt should be shot their players don't even want to wear lions jerseys on sundays

Robert Ullman said...

"You have a second chance to DVR the game at 5:00p, Versus is showing the game again."

Also, NHL Network has it at 2 pm. Instant classic.

I'm going to the game Saturday night (travelling from Richmond VA, so for me, it's special), and bringing along a pal to his 1st ever NHL game. Couldn't be more jazzed! Thanks, GT!

Raybin said...

What a game. I don't know if that's been mentioned yet.

Major fucking kudos to the staff. Top 5 recap EVER. I gave away the fact that I was slacking at work reading this because I was laughing out loud.

To be fair, Emrick also said that Fleury had played really well for giving up 6 goals. An equally stupid statement, but no real bias.

Also, screaming "OSGOOD IS STUNNED!" goes a long way toward making up for it.

Hopefully this game will end, now and forever, the "TRADE STAAL!" bullshit. I will have to hand out free cases of whup-ass to anyone I hear saying that from now on.

Zetterberg....what a player. Tell me your scrotum doesn't tighten everytime he touches the puck near the hate.

Jesus Christ, I hate Tomas Holmstrom. I wish Gill would've been sent on a repeat of the seek and destroy mission he ran during Game 3 of the SCF.

For this team right now, Satan = Hossa. Hopefully in 3 or 4 months, it'll be Satan > Hossa.

Still gonna boo shit out of him in February. Why? Because it's FUN. Who cares if I don't really care anymore?

My bet is Osgood is on a short leash after this. One more game and you'll see Conkblock getting a majority of the starts.

Zigomanis. What a pickup. All hail Shero...he shall carry us through the storm safely. Amen.

What a blistering shot by the Tank. That would've gone through a reinforced steel door.

Alex Goligoski = SUPERSTAR. In the making, anyway.

The Versus guys did piss me off when they were like, "Sidney Crosby needs to score more goals." I say they need to spend less time verbally jacking off.

A) Sid scores plenty of goals

B) He is the best set up man in the league. His skill and speed draws the defense over and leaves teammates open to receive passes that he and very few other people can make. He's Joe Sakic on steroids.

Feels good to be back pontificating about hockey, I must say. I love ya CBlog.

Rick M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author. said...

I think we need to see THIS again.

Rage said...

Ahhhh raybin, you have been missed. Perhaps Detroit(Winnipeg) will figure out that OsBad isn't gonna get it done, and trade both him AND Nossa to Atlanta for a goalie...of if there were really karma...*sigh*

eze3484 said...

"[Comment From hockeytown blood]
7-2 final with empty netter?"

At first I laughed at this line because the final score was entirely different.

Then after some thought I realized the complete lack of intelligence of this live blogger. Has any 6-2 game been put away by an empty netter???


Kraus said...

not sure if this was brought up yet, but did anybody catch the highlights on sportscenter? at the end of the game, theres a kid behind the pens bench with a wings jersey going nuts after teh pens won. kind of like how russia fell in love with rocky, this kid is for sure a new pens fan.

sven butenschon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Raybin said...

Tell me your scrotum doesn't tighten everytime he touches the puck near the hate.

Near the NET. I have no idea where I got near the hate.

Probably from all the Red Wings hate I have.

Anyway....carry on. said...

Hey, the hate worked last night.

Raybin said...


Thanks for the welcome. I'm always missed wherever I's a good thing people don't have better aim!


Anyway...yes, Hossa and Osgood being shipped to the 9th Circle of Hell that is Atlanta would be joyous karmic retribution.

Actually, I'd rather see Hossa end up in the dead end black hole that is the New York Islanders with Osgood backing up DiPiejoke. That would be even better.

Jay said...

Shout out to Max, he had a sick game. The pursuit after the puck down the boards and the eventual strip to pass to Sid for the first goal just shows why he is the mucker that should be on Sid's line all the time. He serves that role to a T

Vern said...

I feel like this is an excellent place to post with my avatar, given Chris Osgood's fascination with touching giant penises.

Rage said...

@raybin- the isles...that idea was so evil even I never thought of it. Well played sir.

Trust Pensexperience...the hate was flyin THICK in here last night and if there were karma I'd be in some deeeep trouble.

Rage said...


dying alive said...

"[Comment From hockeytown blood]
7-2 final with empty netter?"

Well, give him some credit. He did get the seven goals right. Somehow I don't think they were scored by the team he expected, though.

Hip said...

BNG - right on. The best part of Staal's game last night I thought was his physical presence. I was watching with my classmate who's a big Red Wings fan, and other than saying "NO high five!" every time I got jacked after another Staal goal, he kept mumbling, "dear God, just imagine when he finally puts some meat on his bones."


PatricktPB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PatricktPB said...

"Malkin with a blast. Even Jesus Christ doesn't know where it's at."

LOL at this line. That shot I remember saying "Where the fuck.. did it go?ALL!!!!!"

TIMKO said...

Great Recap...but i'm confused about the Jurassic Park thing?

TIMKO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TIMKO said...

P.S. Trade Staal ;) said...

I don't know Timko, do you think we could still get a high round pick for him and Sydor.

rightwingprof said...

"Hopefully this game will end, now and forever, the "TRADE STAAL!" bullshit. I will have to hand out free cases of whup-ass to anyone I hear saying that from now on."

Amen, brother. Amen.

BlacknGold66 said...

I'm pretty sure the Jurassic Park picture was going to be a joke about McCarty's old balls.

Looks like it was lost somewhere in the makings of the post.

(much like the paragraph below it)

debrisslide said...

I'm still laughing at everyone in the world who thought the Pens were going to lose that game last night with an Osgood shutout or some shit.

wilsmith said...

you can't end the trade staal talk after just one game! trade him tomorrow if it brings Gaborik off the IR.

Raybin, I have to disagree with your last two points. Crosby is not scoring plenty of goals. In seasons past, he has, but he's not right now.

it's affecting the way teams play him. people are backing off to cover the pass because they get the feeling he won't shoot it.

sure its great being at the top of the points with a ton of assists, but he could probably really grow that number if he would start putting a couple more pucks on the net so the defenders wouldn't just play the pass since they know he just about never shoots it.

i'm not complaining about his play or anything because it's fine and the teams been winning, but those guys aren't completely off base when they say he needs to score more.

dying alive said...

OK, aside from tPB, this is the funniest thing I've read all day. Courtesy of LCS:

This was the most unlikely comeback since John Travolta shot Marvin in the face

demondg1 said...

The uncomfortable chick, smoking hot.

I bet she don't speak a lick of English.

TIMKO said...

I really don't feel we should trade Staal. He's only 20 and has shown signs of greatness we just have to wait for the consistency. I feel that with how he's played in the past year he might help the pens out not only on the ice but financially because Shero isn't going to want to throw a big number contract at someone who is "inconsistent". The season is still young and this could be the start to his consistent GREAT play.

If Staal continues to play like he did last night and put up numbers like last night he deserves the big contract and unfortunately we may no be able to give it to him. If he plays like he did last year he might sign a contract worth less money for a year or two to get his game in shape and prove he's worth the big contract....or you have someone like Tampa throw down big bucks for him and he doesn't perform.

BlacknGold66 said...

So basically what Timko is saying is that we shouldn't trade Staal because he might be a bargain down the road due to his "inconsistency" right now.

But if he starts to put up big numbers we should expect him to leave via Free Agency for nothing in return. Which is fine too.


Also, we should trade him now because his value is so high.

Because of what?... three games? Most GM's (not including Oren and Lenny) are smart enough to see the "lull" in Staal's game right now.

It'll be the right time to trade him just before the deadline if:

1) He's still on fire.

2) He likely won't return.

3) The right guys are out there in return.

End of story.

Mike said...

Just a word of congratulations to the Pens on the win last night from this Wings fan. I enjoy your blog, guys. Keep it up. Here's to hoping for as exciting a game in Feb as it was last night.

J.S. said...

"uncomfortable hockey fan" looks very robotic and almost like Fran Drescher.

Dr. Turkleton said...

wonder if peeps will treat Trade Staal the same as Poppa Pump if he decides to go the RFA route instead of signing a CORE friendly contract presented to him by King Shero...

can an EN goal kick start someones confidence and release the Get That Monkey Off My Backblog any better than it has for Trade Staal????

glad Eaton wasn't in the lineup...or else the Pens would've been down to 4.25 d-men and lost that game. Mathieu Garon Teed.

Sydor is playing like he did in the Cup™ Finals....the 92-93 Cup™ Finals. Solid.

I could care less if Cookie scores a goal this season...he's doing his job and doing it well.

Kris Beech has 7 goals, 3 assists and 28 PIM's in 10 games for HV71 in the SEL. just sayin'.
Whomever said that playing with Jan Hrdina [and his turtleneck] won't do wonders for your career, was terribly mistaken.

[28 hours until Filthy]

TIMKO said...


Right on the nose. Right now...all Staal can do is help us. He can play well and help our team to the playoffs and hopefully to the cup and take a "hometown discount" or leave via free agency. Orrrr...he can stink it up...sign a contract for less than his value...turn on the jets and become a bargain player. It's gonna be a Jordan Staal roller coaster ride

demondg1 said...

Upon further review, I believe hot "Uncofortable Hockey Fan" chick to be Lauren Sanchez.

Formerly of FSN. Also of Fight Club and Dark Knight fame.

jefe p said...

yeah i couldnt hear the game, so i thought "uncomfortable hockey fan" was actually some celebrity or hockey wife they were talking about.

Dr. Turkleton said...

j.s. said:

"uncomfortable hockey fan" looks very robotic and almost like Fran Drescher.

good one.

I was thinking also that she looks a bit like a young Star Trek Kirstie Alley


smithda said...

Lauren Sanchez.....Could she have been there for Sid...He likes older hispanic women...just curious. If so good for him!

stokes said...

Whossa? Did that guy play?

Great recap Staff. Funniest stuff you've had this season, fittingly, for the best game the Pens have had this season, or for maybe the last two?


EatonFreeCandy4Life said...

Loved the post! Loved the recap! I was looking forward to reading this all day today! Whenever they showed the shot of the Pens fan next to the Red Wings fan I cracked up. I enjoyed seeing it again! Some people I work with said that last night's game was more exciting than game 5. Seriously?
Also glad to see that comparing Staalsy to a washing machine is becoming a regular occurence. Love it!
Also cute pic of Conklin and Sabu. :)

Adrienne said...

Said it before, I'll say it again, Detroit won't see the playoffs past Nashville this year.

We're beating San Jose or Dallas for the cup.


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